By Marc Bernardin
Updated November 07, 2007 at 04:00 PM EST
Gary Cooper, High Noon
Credit: Everett Collection

According to The Hollywood Reporter, there’s a new High Noon in the offing. In case you don’t remember, that’s the 1952 oater in which Gary Cooper (pictured) fends off a band of outlaws in real-time. (Like 24, but 50 years ahead of its time — and a whole lot better.)

It’s an undeniable classic and should be allowed to rest, unmolested, for all eternity. Especially since we saw what happened the last time it was remade: the 1981 sci-fi pic Outland, one of Sean Connery’s few clunkers.

When will Hollywood realize that there’s no upside to remaking classic films? It’ll never be as good as its progenitor; in fact, it will only suffer the comparison. Gus Van Zant’s Psycho proved that.

Find some films with fantastic premises that didn’t fully exploit them…or were just plain bad in the process. Not Near Dark, not Escape From New York, and not High Noon.

What would you like to see remade? Freshened up? Given a new coat of paint? Me, personally: The Hot Rock, the 1972 jewel heist comedy starring Robert Redford and George Segal. Or The Running Man (actually, just go back to Stephen King’s novella, which has become prescient over time). Or Star Wars: Episode I. Your turn.