By Gretchen Hansen
October 29, 2007 at 12:00 PM EDT

You’re at a party, meeting someone new. You politely extend your hand, but he ignores the gesture and introduces himself as Captain Jack Sparrow. You ask the man/pirate if he is having a good time at the party.

“Are you talkin’ to me?” says the stranger with the unlikely name of Captain Jack Sparrow. You’re thrown off. Who else would you be talking to? Then the “captain” points to a man across the room and says, “If I saw myself dressed like that, I’d have to kick my own ass.”

You realize this attractive, perfectly normal looking person is actually suffering from a common malady known as EMQ — Excessive Movie Quoting.

“I’m going to…” you start, but the EMQ’er cuts you off mid-sentence.
“… make him an offer he can’t refuse?”

You sigh, exasperated. “Don’t you think all the movie quoting is tiresome and annoying?”
Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.
“Well, I think it’s annoying.”
Are you trying to seduce me?
“No, I’m not.”
You had me at hello.
“Oh, that’s just perfect.”
Screws fall out all the time; the world is an imperfect place.
“What’s your problem?”
Houston, we have a problem?
“Seriously, cut it out.”
I wish I knew how to quit you.
“I wish I knew how to get rid of you.”
What we’ve got here is a failure to communicate.
“I’d say so.”
“Give it up.”
There’s three ways to do things, the right way, the wrong way, and the way I do it.
“Nothing will ever get through to you, will it?”
Never tell me the odds.

Do you or a loved one suffer from EMQ? What movie quote do you love to slip into casual conversation, and what movie quote makes your ears burn? When boarding a boat, do you run to the bow, lean over the railings, and scream, “I’m the king of the world“? If so, you may have EMQ. Seek help.

addCredit(“Taxi Driver: Everett Collection”)