By Simon Vozick-Levinson
Updated September 12, 2007 at 10:49 PM EDT

Confused by the White Stripes’ tersely-worded announcement yesterday that their U.S. tour isn’t happening because drummer Meg is “suffering from acute anxiety and is unable to travel at this time”? So were the intrepid journalists at British music mag NME — so they put on their reporting hats and came out with a story headlined “Acute anxiety: What is Meg White suffering from?”

Their well-researched answer: “According to a definition on the University Of Dundee’s counseling service website, the condition is described as a more severe form of the normal anxiety people experience during the stresses of day-to-day life.” So let me make sure I’m getting this straight. NME is telling me that when Meg White says she’s “suffering from acute anxiety,” that means that she’s… suffering from anxiety… which is acute? Well done!

If they were going to write an article that pretends to explain Meg’s situation, I guess I’m just wondering if they couldn’t have tried a little harder to provide some actual insight. But, hey, at least they didn’t intrude on her personal privacy or write a sarcastic blog post about her bandmate’s stressful habits or anything…