The 10 hottest topics for the week of September 14, 2007

By Scott Brown
September 07, 2007 at 04:00 AM EDT

1 Clooney irritated by question at Venice film festival
The actor says it’s the last time he will answer when someone asks, ”Can I touch you?”

2 Gwyneth Paltrow tours Spain with Mario Batali
She will eat only macrobiotic, hydroponic jamón serrano.

3 The Grateful Dead get their own satellite radio channel
Hundreds of miles above the earth, Deadheads have already staked out most of the good spots.

4 Keira Knightley wants media to focus on her work, not her figure
”Eyes up here! On my work!” she yelled.

5 Shots fired at Roberto Benigni poetry recital
Well, naturally.

6 Spears’ new single announces, ”It’s Britney, bitch!”
It goes on to allege that Cheetos are ”a hell of a snack food.”

7 Keith Richards demands apology after Swedish critic calls him ”superdrunk”
If the world learns that Superdrunk and Keith Richards are the same person, the evil Megasober might hurt someone he loves.

8 Letterman to make rare appearance on Oprah
Now, if we can just get Uma to the table, there’s hope for a lasting peace.

9 Eve says ankle-mounted alcohol monitor is ”most annoying thing”
Eve, sweetheart, you should see where they mount them on people who aren’t famous.

10 Chinese government wary of Idol clones
Especially So You Think You Can Escape the Environmental Devastation of the Three Gorges Dam?