By Annie Barrett
Updated August 28, 2007 at 12:00 PM EDT

If you missed EW’s scoop late yesterday, Jeff Fahey (The Lawnmower Man, Grindhouse) will be joining the cast of Lost next season. The producers wouldn’t comment on his character, but said Fahey (pictured) was the first and only choice for the role. “He has the most intense eyes of any guy out there, and I say that as a non-gay man,” said Carlton Cuse. (I wonder what kind of things he says as a gay man!) So I’ve been sitting here daydreaming about what sorts of important tasks a pair of really intense peepers could accomplish on the Island. First and foremost: They can replace Ben’s as the eyes that get the most arguably undeserved closeup action. They could also act as conjure-uppers of more Dharma peanut butter. Or, magnetically corrupt the atmosphere whenever the dull and over-acting Sayid wanders by. Even hypnotize Baby Aaron for the hell of it.

Let’s just assume for now that these eyes contain All The Answers in their watery blue depths, and move on. Or not. Speculate on Fahey’s character — or tell me to shut the eff up and wait — below.

addCredit(” Jeff Fahey: Bobby Bank/”)

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