By Gregory Kirschling
August 24, 2007 at 12:00 PM EDT

It makes total sense: if you’ve gotta market an R-rated movie, it’s not a bad idea to cut an R-rated trailer, to be shown only before other R-rated movies. Yet, for some reason, “red-band” trailers are all too rare. Except for today. Today we’ve got two new R-rated previews for you. (Sorry, kids — you gotta be 18 to watch these. Yeah, sure you do.)

First up is the one for No Country for Old Men, the new movie from the Coen Brothers. And, man, is it bloody! No Country is adapted from Cormac McCarthy’s brutal 2005 novel, and in the first scene of the trailer, Javier Bardem (pictured) takes out an old guy with a cattle gun to the forehead. Bardem’s character is an angel of death hunting a Texas dude (Josh Brolin) who’s stumbled onto a couple million in cash, and a lot of bodies get dropped along the way; the mayhem in this trailer is crimson-red. Now here’s the thing: I saw a preview screening of No Country two days ago. And if I’m not sure if this trailer does it justice, it’s only because I’m not sure any trailer could do it justice. Don’t assume from what you see here that Joel and Ethan’s latest is merely a handsome Tarantino-esque bloodbath. The movie is fast, exciting, and downright ferocious, yes, but it’s also — I dunno — profound. Two days after I walked out of the screening room, a few of its scenes and moods and lines are still rattling around in my head at an hourly rate. So skip the trailer if you’re busy, put your trust in the Coens, and just go see the movie (opening November 21).

Up next, is the R-rated trailer for Beowulf, Robert Zemeckis’ computer-animated spin on the Old English poem. Frankly, I’m not so sure why this clip is R-rated, but it played kind of jerky on my computer, so maybe I missed out on a few moments of naked CG Angelina? Although, seriously, is anybody titillated by naked CG ladies? If yes, confess below!

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