The Last Legion

As a military commander protecting a 12-year-old descendant of Julius Caesar as the Roman Empire crumbles (long story short, the kid’s sword becomes Excalibur), Colin Firth is noble, mostly. Heading up The Last Legion, an almost touchingly jumbled Dino De Laurentiian historical Euro epic — retro orange color scheme and all — Firth graciously battles Goths out of a Capital One ad, flirts with a Byzantine fighter chick (Aishwarya Rai), and puts up with Ben Kingsley in Yoda mode. Every once in a while, though, Firth’s eyebrow hints, Can you believe I’m wearing this dorky leather breastplate?