By Lindsay Soll
August 16, 2007 at 12:00 PM EDT

Welcome to Newport Harbor — “an ocean-front paradise just north of Laguna Beach” — bitch. After watching the premiere of the new spinoff on MTV’s “Real Orange County” series, I’m a little unsure if I’m going to like it. Just how new can the drama get? Case in point: see the descriptions of the main cast below:

Chrissy (pictured): the girl next door, who could seriously be a doppelganger to Miley Cyrus
Sasha: Chrissy’s like BFF for, like, ever, OMG!
Grant: the partier/class clown
Chase: the ladies man who doesn’t really get along with Grant (probably because Grant has better hair. Just a guess.)
Taylor: Chase’s main squeeze, you know, when he’s not too busy flirting with everyone else
Allie: the tall one who steals boyfriends. She also used to date Chase (man, that boy gets around!)
Clay: the heartthrob who Chrissy has had a crush on forever, and the new object of affection for Allie.

The episode focused on the gang’s trip to Palm Springs and Chrissy’s struggle to get alone time with Clay. After an extremely awkward encounter with Chrissy’s parents at the hotel (oh, yes, her parents came along to guard her like a hawk, er, I mean, chaperon), it seemed like Clay’s interest in her got a little watered down. Then, of course, the show ended with vixen Allie going over to Clay’s house late night and… cut to credits.

Here are a few burning questions I had:

  • Just how long can a conversation about chopsticks last?
  • How many more times will Chrissy’s phone have to ring before someone chucks it into the ocean?
  • Was anyone else annoyed by the way Allie’s tag-along Samantha said, “We’ve had, like, millions of boyfriends.”?
  • Was anyone else just generally annoyed with Samantha, period?
  • If Chrissy’s parents are as strict as they seem, why oh why wouldthey ever let their little girl be the star of a reality show whereparties and boys tend to be the main focus?
  • Was Taylor in last night’s episode at all or does she just happento blend in with the 50 or so other bleached blondes on the show?
  • Finally, will you, loyal PopWatchers, continue to watch Newport Harbor? (Better yet: would you want to see a TV Watch on it?)