By Chris Schonberger
Updated August 03, 2007 at 12:00 PM EDT

Greetings from the future: London,2084. After defrosting from their cryogenic chambers, mega-billionaires 50Cent, Justin Timberlake, and Timbaland have established an advanced Big Brotherstate to help them spy on lovely ladies in futuristic lingerie. Still lookingfor a lead single to launch Curtis intothe charts, 50 takes a break from the grind and decides to find some girls. He locksonto his target with a sniper rifle — the new-age analog of Cupid’s bow andarrow — causing her to suffer dangerously powerful orgasms in her car as she leadshim to a top-secret strip club. Here, the ladies fruitlessly blindfold hisbionic eyes while Timbaland uses pre-cog technology stolen from the set of Minority Report to cycle through all ofthe X-rated CCTV footage he can get his hands on. (So much easier than openingmultiple tabs in Firefox!) Meanwhile, JT hasn’t fully adapted to therelaxed sexual mores of the new era — he’s still an old-fashioned, one-womankind of guy, so he stakes out his favorite cyber-chick’s house and uses hisall-powerful mouse pad to dispense with the foreplay.

(Watch the obviously NSFW video below, then check in after the jump to discuss.)

Okay, PopWatchers, hop in the DeLorean and let’s jet back tothe present to discuss the frightening realities of FutureSex. I like the 8-bit Nintendo sound of Timba’s beat, andeven though his lyrics are as creepy as ever, 50 hits the fast-paced tempopretty well. Director Joseph Kahn has a proven track record for pushingalready sexual songs towards the pornographic end of the spectrum (Sisqó’s”Thong Song,” Britney’s “Toxic“), but there is somethingsort of dark and vaguely disturbing about this vision of the future. Also, JT’strend of disintegrating into a sort of human Windows Media player is losing itscachet (see: “LoveStoned“). Still, I think there’s a valuable lesson lurking inthe Matrix, and it goes by the name of “TGIF.” So take off yourleather gloves, power down your computers, and go forth into the world. (Justdon’t spy on anyone changing, it’s technically illegal.)

Enjoy the weekend, PopWatchers, and hope that Mondaybrings us a collaboration between Justin and Tay Zonday, another man with abold vision of tomorrow’s dystopia. Fingers crossed!