The 10 hottest topics for the week of July 20

By Scott Brown
July 13, 2007 at 04:00 AM EDT

1 UCLA student has Paris Hilton’s old number
As in The Ring, a week after you get her old number, you get famousEva Longoria and Tony Parker wed twice for nothing.

2 Daniel Radcliffe: Actresses are too crazy to date
He added, ”You get these insights walking around naked on stage.”

3 Eva Longoria and Tony Parker wed twice
Apparently he wasn’t very good at it, so she had to show him how.

4 ”X-rated” gift bag accidentally given out at Hilary Duff concert
Meanwhile, 5,000 pink Troll dolls were sent to the 2 Live Crew reunion BBQ.

5 7-Elevens made over as Kwik-E-Marts for Simpsons movie
Similar attempts to make over Ted Kennedy as Mayor Quimby didn’t get past the skin-yellowing stage.

6 Lionel Richie says DUI’ed Nicole is ”in an unfortunate situation”
”I told her, ‘Young lady, you are dancing on the ceiling!’ Didn’t have much effect, but I can only use my own proprietary parenting clichés.”

7 Divine Brown reportedly says Hugh Grant incident was a financial ”blessing”
Streetwalking, like TV or pharmaceuticals, is sort of a boom-and-bust business.

8 Finance professor says Mister Rogers exemplified culture of narcissism
The only disorder I contracted from Mister Rogers is a mild shoe fetish, which is more than offset by my sweater OCD.

9 Clay Aiken in airplane spat with woman
No better way to butch up your image.

10 London bookies betting on Prince William and Kate Middleton
That’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard.