By Michael Slezak
Updated July 11, 2007 at 07:13 PM EDT

My all-time favorite Dancing With the Stars contestant, Lisa Rinna, turns 44 today, and under the old adage that a YouTube clip is worth 1,000 haikus, I present to you the former Melrose Place star’s legendary paso doble, performed to the strains of “The Final Countdown.” (YES!)

Watch as Rinna tears into the dance with a ferocity of a feral cat encountering a crystal goblet of Fancy Feast! Witness her psychotic break after getting props from Carrie Ann Inaba! And (damn!) check out those abs!

This woman is truly worth her weight in cheese, and for that, she gets mad PopWatch props for her birthday.