Kathy Griffin's celebrity shakedown -- The ''D-List'' star slams Nicole Kidman, Oprah, and Madonna

By Tanner Stransky
Updated June 08, 2007 at 04:00 AM EDT

Who’s Kathy Griffin slamming in season 1 of My Life on the D-List (Unrated, 267 mins., 2005)? EW rounded up a few choice barbs.

”It’s funny to look at things in my life and imagine: How would this be for Nicole Kidman? Nicole Kidman would not go to the Kabbalah book-release party. Nicole Kidman wouldn’t go anywhere that I go.”

”The day that Oprah opens a tabloid and she’s not in it — that’s when everybody around her is fired.”

”I’m telling it the way I see it. I’m like the Dr. Phil of stand-up. Although Dr. Phil is full of crap too, because that big fat a– needs to lose a few pounds before he writes any more diet books.”

”I think she’s actually a member of the royal family…. She’s definitely not American anymore. You know, the way Justin Timberlake is black now? That’s how British Madonna is.”

”I think my favorite was Rachel Bilson from The O.C., who just gave me her publicist’s phone number. I was like, I get it, Rachel, I’m not supposed to call you at home.”