The 10 hottest topics for the week of May 25

By Scott Brown
May 18, 2007 at 04:00 AM EDT

1 Judge calls Mel Gibson’s rehab ”effective”
”He’s eating kugel!” he gushed. ”Kugel!”

2 Law & Order: Criminal Intent moves to USA Network
Dick Wolf will keep costs down by making the ”chung-chung” sounds himself.

3 Lance Bass developing reality show
Lance is expecting to poach at least 10 percent of the ‘Bassmasters’ audience.

4 Angelina Jolie says Shiloh was planned
”The baby was planned,” she clarified. ”The name was from Boggle.”

5 In letter, Candy Spelling says she’s ”very worried” about Paris Hilton
It was sent to, now listed as Paris’ home address.

6 Neighbors sue Leo DiCaprio, claiming his b-ball court undermined their pool and deck
This makes ”Shyamalan-Deer-Fence-gate” look like a parking ticket.

7 Leonard Nimoy releasing photo book of naked plus-size women
He discovered them when the Enterprise was patrolling the NutriSystem. Hey-o!

8 J. Lo denies adding security after reported antifur death threats
”It’s one chinchilla, on foot, lightly armed,” she hissed from atop Nakatomi Plaza. ”He’s not a problem.”

9 Rare Captain & Tennille TV specials to be released on DVD
”Captain & Tennille and the Harlem Globetrotters” fills in key gaps in the Captain & Tennille mythology.

10 David Blaine might jump off the Brooklyn Bridge
No, David Blaine! You still have so many anticlimactic specials to live for! Think of the nonplussed children!