May 15, 2007 at 10:30 PM EDT

A song called ”Same Girl” on an album called Double Up may soundlike a bit much to handle before cocktail hour, especially when it involves two ofR&B’s most notorious “lovers,” R. Kelly and Usher (listen here). But in spiteof the indiscretions attributed to the two singers in the past, the duo actually findthemselves the victims in thisPG-rated tale of lust and infidelity. Sound unlikely? Let me break it down:

The track starts off rather tamely as R. Kelly extols the virtues of a newlady friend to his buddy Usher (pictured). She sounds like a lovely woman: greatapartment, enviable proportions, and an ankle tattoo. But somehow Usher seemsuncomfortable. “Wait a minute, hold on dog,” he counsels.

With the appropriate trepidation, he begins to inquire about her educationalbackground, profession, and eating habits (she ”loves some Waffle House”). Suddenly,the previously ebullient R is reeling with uncertainty. ”Tell me what’s wrongdog!” he yells. It seems that Usher knows the girl ”like a Pastor knows hisWord.” In the Biblical sense? Word.

With the evidence piling up rapidly, the contemporary Sherlock and Watsonfinally stumble upon the shocking truth: they’ve been ”messing with the samegirl”!!! The R met her at a party in Chicago;Ush met her at a party in Atlanta. Different area codes, yes, but the Pied Piper don’t play that.

addCredit(“Usher: Evan Agostini/Getty Images”)

Rather than fighting like boys or calling her crude names, the two men bemoantheir misfortune and appear to be genuinely hurt. R. Kelly croons, ”I thoughtit was true ‘Confessions’ when she said, ‘I love you,”’ while Usher cries, ”AndI thought her body was callin’ when she said, ‘I want you.”’ The dagger intheir collective heart is that she keeps two cellphones and may be using thesame ringtone for each man. Cold as ice!

After a brief discussion, they decide to pull the classic move favored by middle-schooldudes who want to see if a girl has a crush on them: Usher will call thetwo-timing harlot while R. Kelly listens in on the line. Then, they will agreeto meet her at an undisclosed location and sing a duet of ”Same Girl,” thereby rendering her speechless.

No fights. No interrogations. Just music and friendship triumphing overbetrayal. In a way, it’s a remarkably vulnerable and honest song from two kingsof R&B (Best of… the Same World?). Yet not quite what you would expect to hear whenthe men behind ”Bump ‘n’ Grind” and ”Burn” get together. Are Usher and Kelz softening up these days?

Well, not quite. It seems there is a bit of controversy surrounding theauthorship of ”Same Girl.” Apparently, the Atlanta-based R&B outfit Nephurecorded a track of the same name as the lead single on their album that waseventually dropped by Capitol Records. As they did not actually write the song,Capitol decided to pass it on to Kelz and Usher. The Nephu track is remarkablysimilar (listen here), but needless to say, it is not quite as good.

Of course, this is not that unusual; everyone knows R&B and ghostwritinggo together like evening wear and Zorro masks. But for the man who wrote ”Trapped In the Closet,” there’s something a bit too squeaky clean about thistale. Does anyone else smell a Kelly-composed ”Part Two”? Rumors are alreadycirculating about Justin Timberlake’s involvement…

What do you think, PopWatchers? If this jezebel has such a way withmusicians, who else could she have she been with?

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