The 10 hottest topics for the week of May 18

By Scott Brown
May 11, 2007 at 04:00 AM EDT

1 Jada Pinkett Smith says Katie Holmes is not ”tied up in the basement”
where Tom ”throws steaks to her at night” Changes my whole misconception of their marriage.

2 Usher says his mom is no longer his manager
Here’s hoping the new manager cuts the crusts off, the way Usher likes it.

3 Kid Rock reportedly gives parenting advice to K-Fed
”Don’t feed them after midnight…hold up — that’s Gremlins.”

4 Jessica Biel wants respect as an actress
And I want respect as a writer. Combined, our chances are roughly those of the Queen, on foot, winning the Derby.

5 Video of drunk Hasselhoff makes rounds
The saddest part: He hits on a Trans Am that won’t even talk to him.

6 New dating-show pilot has 10 city girls competing for farmer
The working title: ”Getting the Milk for Free.”

7 Paris gets 45 days in jail
They threw the book at her, and she was like, ”What is this papery object you just threw at me?”

8 Justin, Cameron cheek-kiss on Shrek the Third red carpet
Justin then quickly cheek-kissed Billy Bush, just to show it meant nothing.

9 Helen Mirren passes up dinner with the Queen to film ‘National Treasure’ sequel
You’ve never had Nicolas Cage’s 7-layer dip.

10 New book details plot to steal Lincoln’s body
Arrested at the scene: Doris Kearns Goodwin, in full Goth drag.