By Annie Barrett
Updated May 04, 2007 at 12:00 PM EDT

In case you were busy wolfing down lunch while some of us freaked about Jay-Z’s plane crashing in the Smoky Mountains, TMZ has updated its original story: “The three aboard the plane were white men.” Whew! Looks like the Care Bear Stare I sent Jay-Z via my Budweiser Crown-tattooed tummy was a rousing success.

Britain’s Daily Star reported that Sony BMG chief Clive Davis found Kelly Clarkson’s new album so vile, she’s now forced to scrap it. I guess you could have stopped reading after the first three words of this sentence to assume this is bogus, even though the American blogs are all aflutter. But her publicist assures EW it’s “not true.”

That is all. You may go back to trying to ignore Spider-Man 3 now.