By Tom Conroy
March 26, 2007 at 09:21 PM EDT

Ratings come and go, but megalomania and self-delusion are forever. Last night on The Apprentice, which you’re probably not watching anymore, Donald Trump was giving his wannabes their latest assignment at Grauman’s Chinese Theater in Hollywood. “They should put my footprints outside,” he told the troops. “I’m a bigger star than anybody. I have the No. 1 show on television.” (His declaration inspired’s Apprentice TV Watch columnist Whitney Pastorek to anoint herself the “No. 1 Writer on the Internets.”) For the record, The Apprentice came in 44th out of 97 network broadcasts monitored by Nielsen last week; it’s ranked 89th out of 197 series so far this season. These days, if The Donald wants to draw a crowd outside Grauman’s, he’ll probably have to offer to leave his hairprint.