By Whitney Pastorek
Updated March 21, 2007 at 07:38 PM EDT

Real quick, because I am still watching Regis and Kelly: The performance of Bucky Covington has just terrified me with the possibility that someday soon, Sanjaya Malakar could get himself a record contract. And he won’t have to get a haircut first. [shudder]

[Mere minutes later…]

And see, this is why I don’t watch morning television: After recovering from Bucky’s performance, I tune into The Viewto hear Barbara Walters confess that she finds Sanjaya Malakar, AND IQUOTE, “sexy.” Um, EW editors? I’m not going to make it into work today. I have to spend therest of the afternoon coiled in a ball on the floor under the sink,getting up only to dry heave. Sorry.