By Michael Slezak
Updated March 13, 2007 at 08:26 PM EDT

Brace yourselves, PopWatchers: According to MTV Europe, Jessica Simpson is planning to release a photography book (“mostly of landscapes, of the sky, clouds”), accompanied by personal journal entries. Yes, you read that right: journal entries! No, I haven’t seen any of them yet. But that’s not going to stop me from making some up, as follows:

“I got extenshuns from my bff/hairdresser Ken Paves today. The spring breeze makes them flow. It’s hard to take pictures of the breeze, but if you look real hard, I think you can see it.”

“The peak of that mountain looks like Ashlee’s old nose. JK, Ashlee… LOL! Your really butiful pretty!”

“Darkness descending? Or did I forget to take off the lens cap?”

“That cloud is enormiss. Just like Vanessa Minnillo’s enormiss butt! HA!”

“Ouch! It hurts to look at the sun!”

addCredit(“Jessica Simpson: Jamie McCarthy/”)