The 10 hottest topics for the week of March 9, 2007

By Scott Brown
Updated March 02, 2007 at 05:00 AM EST

Scott Brown’s Hit List

1 Sober Craig Ferguson won’t joke about ”vulnerable” Britney Spears Hit List gladly welcomes Ferguson’s cruelty-starved viewers.

2 Britney…out of rehab? Back in rehab? How about ”still bald”? Let’s go with a safe one.

3 Oprah supports Obama Together, they form OPROBAMA, a mighty fighting robot that supports ethanol subsidies.

4 NBC reportedly eyeing Jimmy Fallon for Conan O’Brien’s Late Night chair If Fallon does well as Conan’s chair, he may one day get his own, made out of Chris Parnell.

5 Dreamgirls producers apologize to Berry Gordy Not since Strawberry Shortcake’s heyday has the ”We’re berry sorry” pun been deployed with such effectiveness.

6 American Idol producers start ”Idol Camp” for teens There’s no singing, just some English schmuck insulting the ashtray you made for your mom.

7 Bijou Phillips nude, beheaded on movie poster Once you’re at ”post-post-post-feminist,” I think you can just shorthand it to ”misogynist.”

8 Pam Anderson didn’t know Uggs used animal skin ”And bacon!” she cried. ”It’s, like, FULL of pigs!”

9 Donald Trump plans to build wedding chapel/mausoleum in New Jersey It’s the circle…the circle of Trump!

10 Studio 60‘s Amanda Peet has baby girl It walked swiftly from her womb and down a hallway, riffing on school prayer.