Scarlett Johansson makes love slaves of Ivy League drag queens
Harvard’s Hasty Pudding Club has selected their Man and Woman of the Year for 2007: Ben Stiller and Scarlett Johansson. According to their website, these awards “are presented annually to performers who have made a ‘lasting and impressive contribution to the world of entertainment.'” Katharine Hepburn, Anthony Hopkins, Julia Roberts, and Robert De Niro are among the past winners of this prestigious honor from one of America’s oldest theatrical institutions run almost exclusively by privileged young white men in drag. So, okay, fine, I’ll bite:
Scarlett Johansson is SO OBVIOUSLY HYPNOTIZING PEOPLE.
Can we all just wake up and admit this? Rub the shiny dust from youreyes, people, and see what is really happening! She is very, verypretty, and her powers of seduction over elderly gentlemen know nobounds, but must she now take the youth, as well? How, exactly, has shemade a “lasting” contribution to the world of entertainment already? Imean, Lost in Translation was a great film, I could see itagain and again, but what do you think college-aged boys wereresponding to more there: The subtle and heartwrenching relationshipbetween Scarlett and Bill Murray, or the opening shot of her ass? Andwas Girl with a Pearl Earring really all that compelling, anddid any of that have to do with her—or did she just have to sit thereand stare through the screen, hypnotizing people, while Colin Firth didall the heavy lifting? Did anyone even go see The Island? Sure, one could make a case for Ghost World and Match Point, but does two movies a “lasting” contribution make? Not in my book, PopWatchers, not in my book.
addCredit(“Scarlett Johansson: Mark Von Holden/WireImage.com”)
Clearly, the nice folks at the Pudding place have just run out ofpeople to confer this award upon and should probably consider making itbi-annual or perhaps a five-year thing lest they find themselves namingJennifer Love Hewitt their Woman of 2011. But in the meantime—andthis is more of a statement to the general populace—SHINY DUST. RUBFROM EYES.
Um… who’s with me?
(Side note: according to her biography, Scarlett was in an off-Broadway play called Sophistrywhen she was 8, an event notable for the fact that my theater schoolclassmates and I went to go see that and, during a talk-back with thecast, this girl Blair got into a huge fight with Ethan Hawke,who had just made the stupid mistake of telling a room full of kidswho were spending $40,000 on a theater education that a theater education isn’tnecessary. That wasawesome. The play was not.)