By Michael Slezak
Updated January 26, 2007 at 12:00 PM EST

Say you’re a terrific new artist with a crazy-catchy single, but your eclectic sound almost guarantees you the “big in Europe” curse of Robbie Williams, Anastacia, and Scissor Sisters. You have a budget of roughly $11 to create a video that will take America by storm. What do you do? What. Do. You. Do? Let’s take a peek at Mika’s new clip for “Grace Kelly” (now streaming at AOL Music) and try to determine how (and how well) he’s dealt with this not altogether uncommon dilemma.

No money? No problem. Somebody at your label has a friend with a fabulous loft apartment (piano included), and she’s crazy about the idea of immortalizing her pad in video form. As for the lack of money for a choreographer, that can be easily disguised by having your dancers/friends hold industrial lighting fixtures.

You’re gonna have to give up the dream of getting Scarlett Johansson to costar in the clip (maybe on your next single, if this one takes off?), so for now, we’re gonna go with a couple of local kids. They’ll work for first dibs at the craft services table. And they’re cute. And anyway, that clip of dialogue in the song doesn’t sound like it’s the real Grace Kelly either, so who cares?

“Why don’t you like me? Why don’t you like me?” But Mika, we do like you!Your song is like a whole packet of Smarties — colorful and tart –and I’m not even mad at you for your ability to pull off skinny pantsin a variety of colors. Mildly annoyed, maybe, but let’s get back tothe video.

Put some chick in rags, have her do the Stevie Nicks twirl. Worksevery time. Other household items that look good on camera: Umbrellas!Vegetable platters! Old ladies! Now break out the bags of confetti andglitter — practically free at the dollar store — have your mates actthe fool, and hey, that’s a wrap! What do you think, PopWatchers? DidMika act like a Tim Gunn disciple and make it work, or is this thinghardly working?