By Michael Slezak
Updated January 03, 2007 at 09:34 PM EST

With Madame Alexander’s upcoming (and oddly featureless) Desperate Housewives dolls getting unveiled on the cover of Fashion Doll Quarterly, it got me thinking ahead to the confusion such an adult-oriented line might cause among the target doll-playing demographic. To that end, here’s my list of the Top 5 Things My Nieces and Nephews Are Bound to Utter During the 2007 Holiday Season:

5. “Mommy! Mommy! I can’t tell the difference between the ball-busting ad exec and the horny real-estate agent!”
4. “No! You play with the Susan doll!”
3. “Mom? Where did you store my ‘N Sync action figures? I need J.C. to help play out Gabrielle’s extramarital affair with her teenage gardener.”
2. “Grandma! Uncle Michael won’t give me back my Bree doll! He says she’s helping him bake cranberry scones!”
1. “We’re not negotiating my uterus!”