By Whitney Pastorek
Updated November 29, 2006 at 12:00 PM EST

Imagined conversation between two Americans last week:

American 1: Hey, uh, so didja see that Kramer dude use the N-word?
American 2: Like, no — where?
American 1: It’s on the Internets. He was doing stand-up and like lost it or something.
American 2: Shut up! [pushes American 1]
American 1: For reals, yo.
American 2: Dude, that’s like, not OK.
American 1: Dude, I know.
American 2: It’s, like, really wrong to use that word.
American 1: No kidding.
American 2: Maybe everyone in the entertainment industry should boycott it or something.
American 1: I was just thinking that myself. For surely that will solve the ongoing problem of race relations in this country. I am certain, in fact, that semantics are the biggest problem facing society today.

American 2: I am enraged.
American 1: Me too.
American 2: …
American 1: …
American 2: So, like, whaddaya want to do now?
American 1: Uh… I hear the seventh season of Seinfeld is out on DVD — wanna go buy it?
American 2: Totally!
American 1: Cool!

Now repeat this conversation however many times it takes to equal a 75 percent sales increase over Season 6 and… scene!