November 28, 2006 at 12:00 PM EST

¡Ay, Dios mio! I was so excited, and now I’m so sad. You know those hilarious clips of the fake telenovela that the Suarez family watches on Ugly Betty? Well, ABC decided to expand those popular few seconds of Vidas de Fuego (pictured) and turn them into 2-4 minute telenovelitas, which are available at and soon will be ready to download onto Verizon VCAST phones.

In what should have been a genius move, ABC decided to go lame. The first mini-episode is dubbed in English, and it sucks. The voiceovers…how do I say this? They sound a little like chipmunks. Passionless chipmunks. It isn’t funny like that! Actually, it’s a little alarming. It should’ve been so right, but man, it’s just so wrong.

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