On ''Nip/Tuck,'' Christian proposes to Michelle, Brooke Shields comes back, and a patient wants her lover's remains put in her breast implants

By Tim Stack
November 22, 2006 at 05:00 AM EST
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”Nip/Tuck”: Endless loves

It’s hot-old-lady night on Nip/Tuck! Ryan Murphy loves him some senior citizens. The episode’s big guest star was the fabulous and still-stunning Catherine Deneuve. What a coup! Deneuve hardly does films anymore, let alone a TV drama. She played — what else? — a French seductress with a penchant for smoking, who came to McNamara/Troy to get new breast implants with her lovers’ ashes mixed into them. Odd, to be sure, but once she explained her reasoning, it was actually kinda touching. It especially resonated with Sean, who’s having a rough time with Julia’s departure. The surprise, though, was that Deneuve was lying about her beloved’s remains. It turned out she stole them from the guy’s actual wife, played by Brenda Vaccaro. (This episode was like Nip/Tuck meets The Love Boat.)

Continuing with the older-ladies theme, we once again were paid a visit by James (Jacqueline Bissett). She came to see Christian after being roughed up for not meeting her quota for, I’m guessing, human organs. Did anyone else think Bissett’s bruise makeup was off? She looked more like a troll from Lord of the Rings than someone who was actually beaten. Also, do we think that she was actually attacked or did she have someone do that to her? I only ask because she wanted to worm her way back into McNamara/Troy so that she could use their operating room for some more organ thefts. From the look of things, as much as Michelle (Sanaa Lathan) wants to get away from James, she just can’t. Although it was left ambiguous, it appeared that Michelle helped James out with yet another illegal surgery.

But Michelle had some good news last night: Christian proposed to her. I can’t say that I’m too optimistic about this marriage. Britney and K-Fed had better prospects than these two. As Christian began to say goodbye to his bachelor life, he was visited by some ghosts of girlfriends past, including Rebecca Gayheart and that girl whose head he put a bag over before he slept with her. How romantic.

And finally Brooke Shields returned as Dr. Crazy, the psychiatrist who’s obsessed with Christian. Sean conveniently went to see her for a little post-Julia therapy. Shields convinced Sean that Christian was secretly in love with him. When Sean confronted him, Christian delivered my favorite line of the episode: ”Is it because of my eyebrows?” No, but they’re not helpin’, Christian. Anyway, Shields’ lower-back tattoo was revealed, and it looks like no one is going to be paying her for advice for a long time. Is it just me or did Brooke Shields look a little harsh in this episode? I don’t mean to be superficial, but she looked really wrinkled and tired. Perhaps it’s because of the new baby. Or maybe she was up late trying to think of a wedding gift for Katie and Tom.

What do you think? Will Christian and Michelle get married? Is Sean going to start dating someone else? And are you loving or tiring of all the random guest stars?

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