By Michael Slezak
Updated November 16, 2006 at 08:21 PM EST
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This may or may not be news to you, but this morning, I discovered that new-age diva Enya literally has an “Online Castle,” complete with “Rogue’s Gallery,” “Watch Tower,” and even a “Trinket Room.” (Can anyone figure out how to interact with the snow globe in the last-named area? It confounds me!)

What I bet you didn’t know, though, is that the good folks at MapQuest have accurate directions to the actual, physical Castle Enya. Might I suggest clicking this link and listening to Enya’s ubiquitous “Orinoco Flow (Sail Away)” — not to be confused with her Prodigy mashup, “Smack My Enya“! — while we take the journey from PopWatch HQ to Enya’s lair?

  • 1: Start out going SOUTHWEST on BROADWAY toward W 52ND ST. <0.1 miles
  • 2: Turn RIGHT onto W 51ST ST., going all the way to the HUDSON RIVER 1.7 miles
  • 3: Sail WESTWARD into THE ORINOCO FLOW. 71.3 miles
  • 4: (Do NOT heed the call of the MERMAIDS. They’re lovely, but dangerous.)
  • 5: Take the EXIT ∑ to the DEEP SEA OF CLOUDS. 0.6 miles
  • 6: Merge onto ≈Ω≈ and head SOUTHWARD HO toward the ISLAND OF THE MOON. 271.6 miles
  • 7: Unicorns!
  • 8: Bear RIGHT at the fork in the SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM. ≥π
  • 9: Keep an eye out for signs pointing to MORDOR!
  • 10: Go directly to THE LAND I’VE NEVER BEEN. Do not pass MOUNT DOOM. Do not collect $200.
  • 11: Get out your FAIRY DUST. Sprinkle liberally about traveling vessel. Watch it transform into MAGICAL BUGGY!
  • 12: SAIL AWAY, SAIL AWAY, SAIL AWAY.
  • 12: BEANNACHT DE TEACH AìOCH BAINEANNACH AINNIR ENYA.

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