November 06, 2006 at 12:00 PM EST

Attention, colonists: It is official. The British love their new blond Bond. As far as the papers are concerned, he’s as good as knighted, his license to kill renewed at least for the duration of the Gordon Brown administration.  The Daily Telegraph says he “steps with full assuredness into Sean Connery’s old handmade shoes” and has a face “like an Easter Island statue.” They do not come out and say that some of his predecessors had faces like an Easter bunny statue, but they come close. They praise his tough physique and “acting.”

I haven’t seen this film. But that’s not going to stop me from agreeing wholeheartedly with these mysterious British critics. Or, at least, hoping they’re right. I’ve been a big believer in Layer Cake’s Daniel Craig from minute one, and the earliest trailers (with their tamped-down paranoia, flecks of inelegant brutality, and basic theme of “how a womanizing government thug becomes a debonair murder artist”) got my martini in a twist. (That last phrase… worst thing I’ve ever written? Or worst thing ever, period? Vote below!)

“How James became Bond.” That’s a nice tagline. We’ve all wondered. And this is not an acceptable theory, I’d argue.

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