Credit: Superman Returns: Sony Pictures Imageworks

Demand and supply: I read somewhere they’re related. So how to explain the following projects? Don’t get me wrong: I’m excited about each and every one of them.My media-nerd heart leaps like a gazelle in a “Bloom County” T-shirt. And yet, I wonder, as I often wonder, about mass audiences — is there sufficient appeal to drive the following projects?

Bruno, Da Ali G Show‘s flaming Austrian fashion reporter, is Sacha Baron Cohen’s third-best-known character, after Ali G and Borat. Now, the latter just saw his film’s distribution plan scaled back because… he wasn’t well-known enough. I imagined no one was breaking down Baron Cohen’s door for a Bruno movie. I imagined wrong. Universal just paid $43 mil for worldwide rights. So what the hell do I know.

Superman Re-Returns? Yup — despite not-so-much in the returns department, Bryan Singer’s on deck for a 2009 follow-up. This time, the budget will be a highly frugal $200 million, or so they say. This, after Returns (pictured) only just crossed $200 mil at the domestic box office. But don’t talk economics to Supes: He is not bound by your weak “Earth gravity.”

addCredit(“Superman Returns: Sony Pictures Imageworks”)

-One Che movie would be revolutionary. Two Che movies?It’s gonna happen, according to director Stephen Soderbergh and hisfive-year plan. If quotas are not met, star Benicio Del Toro will,regrettably, be purged.

-As many of you now, all laws of economics are repealed when you’re baked. Thus, Harold and Kumar Go to Amsterdam: A one-of-a-kind will attempt to be two-of-a-kind. Are they saving the search for Curly’s gold for H&K3?

-Finally, there’s a movie from beyond the grave: Stanley Kubrick is set tobecome the Tupac of celluloid with the discovery and revival of Lunatic at Large, a lost film treatment he wrote with Jim Thompson (the noir-velist who wrote The Grifters and After Dark, My Sweet).

Like I said: Exciting projects, all. But all fraught withpotentially lethal risks: Can Chris Palmer, a commercial director,translate Kubrick? Can Bryan Singer crack the Superman formula and stayunder budget? Does a $43 million deal raise the stakes too high forBruno?

Ah, economics, schmeconomics. Bring ’em on, these excited andill-advised projects! Money, as we know it, won’t even exist in five orsix years. It’ll be replaced with a cunning system of bartered bakedgoods. At least, this is what I’ve been telling my credit card company.

Superman Returns
  • Movie
  • 157 minutes