By Michael Slezak
Updated October 13, 2006 at 12:00 PM EDT

I don’t know why, but looking at AOL’s bizarre list of today’s top 11 searches (America, you confound me!), I have the urge to reinterpret a few bars of Madonna’s “Vogue.” Thank you for your indulgence. And have a great weekend.

betty ugly, katie couric
mya sings with dionne warwick
anal cancer, tara reid
on the cover of a magazine

gene kelly, outerwear?
ginger rogers, dance on air
csi with kevin fed
do you think tupac’s really dead?

the whole darn list’s so full of whimsy
with not a whiff of lohan, lindsay
so don’t just sit there, let’s get to it
surf the net, there’s nothing to it