The 10 hottest topics for the week of October 20, 2006

By Scott Brown
Updated October 13, 2006 at 04:00 AM EDT

1 Madonna provides Kabbalah water to Malawi She even had it ritualistically kabottled.

2 Report says TomKat will wed in November The idea is to replace the outmoded human holiday ”Thanksgiving.”

3 Fox News turns 10 What do you get for the 10-year? Wood? Paper? War with Iran?

4 Sienna Miller apologizes to Pittsburgh Pittsburgh doesn’t even respond, having already turned its attention to the nanny.

5 Streisand tells fan to ”shut the f — – up” during mid-concert Bush sketch Let it never be said that Barbra Streisand and Dick Cheney don’t share some common ground.

6 Tara Reid reportedly has breasts reduced Now for the rest of her…

7 Tori Spelling expecting first child Whatever its gender, it will be named Second Generation Nepotism Spelling and have a show in development by teething time.

8 Jimmy Buffett accused of carrying Ecstasy He said it was research for his new single, ”Serotoninburg.”

9 Underage star of Whale Rider is pregnant It started with an overly friendly series of burbling, subsonic text messages.

10 Colonial-era convenience store unearthed Washington slept there?or behind there?during a really bad time in his life.