On ''Weeds,'' Snoop raps about Nancy's pot strain; meanwhile, Celia alienates the town's dog lovers

By Hannah Tucker
Updated October 03, 2006 at 04:00 AM EDT
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”Weeds”: The ultimate celebrity endorsement

The moment we’ve all been waiting for finally arrived this week: Snoop made a Weeds cameo. I had heard rumors that Mr. Dogg and something called ”MILF weed” might make an appearance, but I was trying not to get too excited. After all, Snoop Dogg guest-starring on Weeds is like Kofi Annan guest-starring on The West Wing. (Please excuse me while I check ”find plausible way to compare dignified diplomat to drug-smoking rap star” off my to-do list.) So, what do we think of the rap? Personally, I’d rank it somewhere between ”Gin and Juice” and that song where he and Pharrell make tongue-clicking sounds for two and a half minutes.

In any case, having Snoop sample your wares is a good way to ensure you don’t stay low-profile for long. Sure enough, Conrad (who shall henceforth be referred to as the MILF Man) and Nancy are swapping pounds of the green you grow for wads of the green you can spend, on things like hybrid cars, Manolo Blahniks, and a hardcover copy of Blink. (Hey, big spender!)

The only people not doin’ the MILF dance are Silas (because that would just be weird) and Andy, who’s miffed about not getting an envelope full o’ cash. I’d be cranky too if I had two tootsies eaten by a dog named Mr. Sweaters (actually, I’d be mad if a dog by any name ate my digits), but Andy has to realize that he’s something of a weed himself. While Nancy should probably compromise and apply Andy’s hours at the house (doing, uh, whatever it is he does there) or front him a couple grand per toe or something, Andy needs to find a way to be helpful. Hey, it’s not that hard to make Her Highness grateful — Andy just needs to find a bakery to torch or a neighborhood to raid.

Councilwoman Celia’s term is not off to a very good start. As long as Nancy and Co. have spokesman Snoop Dogg and Celia has Sober the Sasquatch, Team THC is going to win every time. Plus Celia has already alienated the single-g dog bloc (a powerful coalition in any suburb worth its salt), been out-debated by Shane (whose skills have also helped him snare crush Gretchen), and ultimately outed as a bit of a lush. She did get a nice new wig, though.

The betrayals are just beginning. Conrad snookered Heylia, who’s planning to sell out Lewis/U-Turn, who’s probably going to be slightly angry and throw a knife that hits somebody other than one of his own boys this time. And Peter’s behind it all. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Nancy should not trust him. This undercover agent who puts his face on the evening news, this self-professed big-game-only DEA hunter who can’t find a small fish other than Heylia to fry or even lean on? Please. If Nancy allows it, Peter is going to take control of her entire business while ostensibly letting her fly under that mystical radar of his. Are we even sure this guy is DEA? He seems to have the makings of a kingpin.

What do you think? Is Peter more than what he seems? Will Nancy warn Heylia? And is the MILF weed rap going to get released as a single?

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