By Scott Brown
September 25, 2006 at 06:39 PM EDT

Dick Wolf: Two words that don’t spring to mind when talk turns to television comedy. (Although they are, admittedly, funny words, conjoined.) But Dick Wolf (who’s only made successful forays into unintentional comedy thus far) wants to change that. The Law & Order impresario and preeminent brand repackager has not one but TWO comedy scripts in development at NBC. According to the Variety story, they are an ”untitled political-themed laffer about a bumbling congressman” and ”a medical sitcom revolving around emergency medical technicians and paramedics.”

So… Spin City-meets-The West Wing and Scrubs-meets-Third Watch? Dick Wolf… no. You’re a leader, and here you are following. Raid your own story drawer: I’m talking about pairs of hard-bitten cops, quipping over corpses and district attorneys passionately coughing up their larynxes during the cross. These are your tools, Dick Wolf. Use them.

Besides, you have at your disposal serious thespians like Christopher Meloni (center, shown in Wet Hot American Summer) who are dying to tap their flair for comedy.

(See Scott’s Dick Wolf comedy pitch after the jump.)

addCredit(“Wet Hot American Summer: Everett Collection”)

I’m serious. Kind of. Wolf arguably perfected the gritty policeprocedural, then leaned on the formula so hard, he flirted withself-parody. Why not explore the nascent mutant sub-genre of ”procedural comedy”? These shows are basically hilarious now. There’scomedy gold in them thar corpses, Dick Wolf!

Imagine this: Two hard-bitten roommate cops, one black, one old, keepfinding bodies around their apartment. To make matters worse, theirwacky lye-gargling assistant district attorney neighbor always pops into harangue them about something-or-other. What’s more, the younger,sexier couple next door is always showing them up, solving titillatingsex crimes. And Vincent D’Onofrio plays a crazy homeless man who thinkshe’s a police officer.

Failing that, I’m still waiting for the premiere of Dickwolf: Supersecret Battle Helicopter.

But what about you? Would you show up for a Wolfy comedy? Do allthose gallows quips translate into comedy gold? And who does Dick Wolfhave to kill around here to get a laugh?