By Whitney Pastorek
September 21, 2006 at 05:51 PM EDT

Man, there is nothing like starting off your morning with a good cathartic cry, but it is tears of joy, PopWatchers, TEARS OF JOY: The Office returns tonight (!!!) and I celebrated by re-watching for approximately the 985th time this promo featuring Jim and Pam’s greatest hits, and now sit primed with anticipation for the myriad of ways in which I’m certain they will screw this up and break my heart all over again. Sigh. Here’s your first question for today: Name one television will-they-or-won’t-they couple whose eventual making-out did not go down in flames. The best I can come up with is Buffy and Spike, and I’m not sure that counts. (More on this in a bit…)

Speaking of cathartic TV, also on your Thursday Night Is Crying Night schedule is the premiere of Grey’s Anatomy, where we’ll hopefully find out who Skinny Howser, MD, picks — McDreamy or McVet? — and what Izzie plans to do with herself after that cosmic freak-out over Denny. One fan favorite won’t be back, however, and that’s Doc the Dog, who was put to sleep last season in maybe the saddest scene I’ve ever watched on television; I went searching for an equally maudlin tribute to him on YouTube but the best I could come up with was this overlong disaster set to “Who Let the Dogs Out,” which in no way properly honors his legacy, and is a wonderful example of why the ability to rip DVDs onto one’s computer is rarely, if ever, a good thing.

Last but not least, don’t forget to check in over at ER for the season premiere you Can. Not. Miss. Actually, I’m pretty psyched. Me and, like, three other people. Whatevs — we’re loyal.

Luckily, you’re Ugly Betty-free tonight, which means that for the time being there’s a chance you can still watch everything you want to watch; check back in a week from now to watch my YouTube video of the DVR exploding.

UPDATE: About your comments on the will-they-or-won’t-they couples… Big Ern: Syd and Vaughn were happy. For, like, a week, until she lost two years of her life and he turned evil-ish/got killed (or did he?) and it all went to hell. Not my idea of bliss. And Dana: Diane left Sam at the altar, and that was really, really sad. What else you guys got? Ooh, wait! EM gets the big DING DING DING! That’s pretty close, the ER thing.