Mario Lopez is a LIAR!
Yes, yes, we’re late ringing in on this, but we never miss an opportunity to point at someone and give them the full-on Princess Bride treatment: Mario Lopez? You are a LIAR! LIAAAR! LIAR!
What is up with this nonsense about you never having danced before? We all know your secret, and your secret is the “Dancing to the Max” episode of Saved by the Bell, on which you flashed some serious shoe leather and totally would have won the competition had Lisa not gotten the cripple-pity vote. We all saw it. And Lopez, it is time for you to come clean. Because we smell smoke, and it is coming from your pants.