TV's funniest lines from August 29 to September 4. Read the expanded online-only version of our favorite quips, then vote for the best quote

By EW Staff
Updated September 08, 2006 at 04:00 AM EDT
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The View: Steve Fenn

”It’s never a good sign when you scare your child with your haircut.”
ROSIE O’DONNELL, DISCUSSING HER SON’S REACTION TO HER ”LESBIAN HAIRCUT,” ON THE VIEW

”Look here, I’m a 42-year-old mama wearin’ a corset. I don’t need to be doin’ no stretches.”
RUNNER-UP FAT MAMA, EXPLAINING WHY SHE’S NOT WARMING UP FOR STUNT SCHOOL, ON WHO WANTS TO BE A SUPERHERO?

”I was the one who recommended that they downsize.”
DEAN (ANDY MILDER), AFTER HIS FIRM FIRED HIM, ON WEEDS

”You have to admit, it made the speech a lot more interesting.”
CNN ANCHOR KYRA PHILLIPS’ NO. 1 EXCUSE FOR LEAVING HER MICROPHONE ON IN THE BATHROOM DURING A PRESIDENTIAL SPEECH, ON DAVID LETTERMAN’S LATE SHOW TOP TEN LIST

”You lost to a guy in a green leotard.”
JULIE CHEN, TO DANIELLE, AFTER SHE WAS VOTED OUT BEFORE CHICKEN GEORGE, ON BIG BROTHER: ALL-STARS

”Donald Trump has fired his trusty left-hand girl, Carolyn Kepcher….When George Ross was asked to comment on the situation, he said, ‘I like peas when they’re crushed up.’ ”
JOEL McHALE, ON THE SOUP

”You’re a mess just standing. So I mean traveling you’re going to be like a homeless person.”
JUDGE MICHAEL KORS, TO CONTESTANT ANGELA, WHO IS MODELING HER ”JET-SETTER” LOOK, ON PROJECT RUNWAY

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