By Michael Slezak
September 06, 2006 at 07:16 PM EDT

Gossiping is not nice. At least that’s what my mother always taught me when I was a young boy. And so it is with her stern warning in the back of my mind that I urge you not to click the following link, which will take you to the Daily Mail’s excerpt of Rupert Everett’s new autobiography, Red Carpets and Other Banana Skins. Certainly, it will not make you a better person to hear Rupert describe Madonna’s Material Girl look as “puppy fat and boot-boy legs squeezed into a tutu.” Nor will the tale of Donatella Versace’s 1999 New Year’s Eve bash — during which Madonna and Gwyneth Paltrow “huddled together like bullies” and directed “snorts of derision” at Jennifer Lopez — help enlighten you on your journey of personal fulfillment. Similarly, it will only taint your soul to soak up Everett’s reports from the set of The Next Best Thing — with Madge downing cocktails to prep for her on-screen smooch with Benjamin Bratt, and director John Schlesinger falling asleep behind the monitor. So pick up some Kafka, or Shakespeare, or Dan Brown — whatever your poison. Just don’t read the Everett excerpt. Trust me, by this time tomorrow, you’ll be thanking me. And, of course, my mom.

addCredit(“Madonna & Everett: Stan Honda/AFP/Getty Images”)