September 05, 2006 at 11:28 PM EDT

The View

TV Show
Current Status
In Season
Joy Behar, Star Jones, Lisa Ling, Debbie Matenopoulos, Rosie O'Donnell, Meredith Vieira, Barbara Walters
Talk Shows

Shortly after Rosie O’Donnell made her much-anticipated debut this morning on The View, this instant-message conversation (over virtual instant coffee) took place at PopWatch HQ:

writer1: So, are ya feelin’ Rosie on the new View? I’d forgotten how natural and at ease she is in front of a daytime audience.

writer2: I can’t say that I was. I agree she’s a natural, but I felt like she sucked all the air out of the room.

writer1: She did steamroller the others, but she’s already my favorite.

writer2: Well, that’s not saying too much, but…

writer1: Meowch!

writer2: Seriously, Barbara was having a ”Glaaadiator!” moment for the whole hour, and Elisabeth and Joy just seemed a little afraid of Rosie.

writer1; Joy, not so much; she did tangle with Rosie a little, saying her kid sounded Japanese.

writer2: Call me crazy, but I found that mildly alarming.

writer1: Me too, but I thought Rosie handled it deftly, saying, ”And you all thought I was going to have problems with Elisabeth.” And then Babs chiming in with ”Trust me, you will.” Not exactly Oscar Wilde wit, but pretty good for java-fueled morning repartee.

writer2: The chemistry just seemed off. Of course, maybe it wasn’t just Rosie. It could be the hideous new set that threw them off. I don’t know why, but looking at the tops of their new chairs, all I could think was ”eggs.”

writer1: I don’t like the set either. It looks like American Idol meets Brazil, all those snaky tubes and ducts and all that blue light.

writer2: Totally!  The hot topics table was tiny, and I miss Grandma’s beige couch.

writer1: The show looks like it’s being filmed in someone’s lower intestine.

writer2: Plus, the V in ”View” looked like it was about to split Jessica Simpson’s head in two.

writer2: Which still would have been less painful than hearing her sing live… I know she has a sore throat, but I’ve thrown down better vocals after pounding half a dozen Smirnoff Ices at karaoke night.

writer1: I actually felt sorry for Jess, for once, walking into that minefield on Day 1, having to talk about John Mayer and her puppetmaster dad.

writer2: Uff da. Her slip of the tongue calling him ”controlling” was awesome!

writer1: Yeah, loved it!

writer2: I dunno. I think part of the problem is they need someone really strong to take over Star’s seat. Otherwise it’s going to feel like Rosie and The View-ettes.

writer1: Exactly. I think once they find Star’s replacement, the chemistry will settle into place. Meantime, I’ll enjoy the tension and bruised egos.

writer2: And while I liked that Rosie was really comfortable and natural discussing her relationship with Kelli, there was a tad too much kid talk from everybody. It’s gonna take a week to shed the image of Elisabeth sitting in a pool of her child’s urine.

writer1: Yeah, way too many references to tampons for me, but then I lack the XX chromosome to appreciate that conversation.

writer2: I’ll probably tune in a few more times and see how the ladies jell, but at this point, I kinda miss Starting Over.

writer1: Bite your tongue!

writer2: Heh.

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