In a special two-eviction episode of ''Big Brother: All-Stars,'' the Chill Town guys use their in-house girlfriends to eliminate their former allies Danielle and George

By Lynette Rice
September 01, 2006 at 04:00 AM EDT

”Big Brother”: The end of the Legion of Doom

Being the impatient viewer that I am, I’m grateful when BB speeds things up and evicts two houseguests during an episode, but I sense that the Chen 3000 doesn’t share in my joy. These last-minute programming changes seem to confuse the android, who absentmindedly asked Erika if she had anything to say to the houseguests before exercising the power of veto (uh, that would be a no) and allowing a painful amount of dead air to pass when HOH Janelle replaced Erika with Mike. Perhaps the Chen 3000 was genuinely out of sorts, having suffered a frequency overload upon delivering this rare zinger to Danielle on the couch outside the house: ”You lost to a guy in a green leotard.” Kapow!

Talk about a sucker punch. Danielle thought her secret alliance with Erika would save her from eviction this week, while Erika cared only about her secret alliance with Boogie. Her decision to nominate Danielle had less to do with strategy than with her desperate need to be loved by a colossal tool like Mike. I have no inside information on where that relationship is headed, but I’m not looking forward to that moment in BB8 when the producers go back to check on past HGs, only to find Erika in her one-bedroom West Hollywood apartment lamenting about how another reality-show nose picker left her for dead. If I had to settle for a floater in the final four, I would have preferred George to Erika — if only because he had sense enough to admit openly that Chill Town was playing them for fools. Besides, there should be a law against women like Erika who are so freakin’ disciplined about their diet. Cheetos and ice cream won’t kill you, Erika. Just look at me.

[Read Josh Wolk’s interview with Danielle and George.]

So now it’s down to Will, Boogie, Erika, and Janelle. Janelle seems to be just as naively vulnerable to Will’s charm as Erika is to Boogie’s; I hear that Janelle has already declared on the feeds that she wants to date Will once the game is over. (And how will that surely end? Please see previous paragraph about BB8.) But at least Blondie knows how to kick some serious ass in the competitions, which is why I hope either Will or Boogie (because, lets be honest, it’s their game to lose now) will think long and hard about taking her to the final two. The Chill Towners probably think that Janelle won’t have the votes to win, so one of them will easily take the cash. But there’s also the chance that James, Marcellas, and Danielle will stop taking this game so personally and actually remember who won the most competitions. Surely not Will or Boogie.

Does this mean I’m rooting for Janelle to win this game? Great Scott, I think I am. Here’s why:

I think we can all admit this season wouldn’t have been the same had Will and Boogie gotten the early boot. They made this show eminently watchable, along with providing plenty of hilarious quotes for EW’s Sound Bites. (My all-time favorite: ”Chill Town is on a little mission right now called Operation Double Date,” says Boogie. ”The way it works is I get very close to Erika, Will gets very close to Janelle, using our charisma, good looks, and winsome personalities. What these girls think is that they are winning our hearts and they’re manipulating us, but what we’re really doing is…” ”Ripping their hearts out of their chest and squeezing the blood in the pocket of their cheap blouses before they can blink twice,” says Will.)

And who can forget the time that idiot Boogie cut his toe after kicking a glass mask? Good times.

That doesn’t mean, however, that he and Will deserve the cash. Will might have sweet-talked his way out of every nomination ceremony, but Janelle had to fight tooth and nail to survive. BB has always been a game that acts on emotions, and if you’re hated, you’re history. No one in the house has ever really liked Janelle. (We viewers did her no favors by rewarding her with all those America’s Choice prizes.) And hello — I don’t hear any of the guys being called fat or having to be insulted on national TV by the ousted Alison. (Remember when Alison predicted that Janelle would gain the most weight in the house?) Will may be the shrewdest player in BB history, but Janelle’s the one who always had a bull’s-eye on her back. Plus, she’s never won this game, and Will has. And Boogie, well — he’s just kinda old and goofy and only seems funny because he’s standing next to Will. So who really deserves the money here?

Will the jury members have their come-to-Jesus moment in sequester and do what they should have done in weeks 1 and 2 by punishing Chill Town once and for all? Probably not. My cynical guess is that sexism and immaturity will come into play, and they’ll pick Will or Boogie to win over Janelle. That’s assuming Janelle even makes it to the final two. As of 11 p.m. PT on Thursday, we didn’t know who the next HOH was, and Janelle could be the next to go (please no please no).

It should be another good live eviction Tuesday, especially since the final four think the series is lasting through Sept. 19 when in fact it’s ending on Sept. 12. (CBS only recently set the finale date in stone to avoid having BB compete against new, original fare.) My God, where did the summer go?

Anyway, let’s get to your very valuable opinions. (It’s cute when you kids fight amongst yourselves about live-feed spoilers, but I think the majority of us fans like to read them — so post away as soon as you know the next HOH.) Until then, what do you think? Does a Chill Town member really deserve to win? Will Janelle get the shaft? And what are the odds of a Boogie-Erika wedding?

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