By Scott Brown
Updated August 31, 2006 at 02:00 PM EDT

Feast, don’t fails me now!

Your gory trailer has hit the Interweb with a loud, wet splat, and boy, is it a forthright portrait of the crap to come. From what I can deduce from this lowlit preview, we’re in for just the sort of straight-to-video quality we’d expected, having seen the final season of Project Greenlight. For anyone who’s interested, the words running across the crawl in my head while I was watching this: from… dusk… till… tremors… ever notice henry rollins looks like a ‘roided-up robert sean leonard?… tofurkey… (the last one may be unrelated)

At any rate, those hearty young marketers charged with foisting Feast on the American moviegoer seem to have taken the so-bad-it’s-good approach, showcasing lines like “It’s gonna eat us!” and even including a sequence that pays homage to Samuel L. Jackson in Deep Blue Sea. Oh, and the banner blurb? It’s from young Harry Knowles, critical credibility incarnate, and it reads: “F—ing awesome!”

Horror fans, Rollins fans, crap fans, jump in here and feast on my foolish musings.