By Scott Brown
Updated August 31, 2006 at 08:12 PM EDT

Star Trek

  • Movie

I urge everyone to remain calm and remember, I am only the messenger: As rumored, the original 79 episodes of Star Trek — a sci fi Pentateuch for many — will return to syndication on Sept. 16. With… CGI revisions. EVERYBODY SIT DOWN, PLEASE. Thank you.

My guess is, even purists will be curious, if not delighted. The team (headed by 18-year Trek design vet Michael Okuda, no mere hired gun) says it took a WWGRD approach, imagining how Gene Roddenberry would’ve approached the show’s design and effects if he’d had access to contemporary technologies. Apparently, we’ll see starbases teeming with people, shimmeringly “realistic” alien landscapes with moving clouds and glittering water surfaces. Also, some old goofs will be fixed, giving the storied “Goofs” department a serious workout. Me, I’m just hoping the revisionists find a way to reconcile Shatner’s current toupee with his original hair. I’m a stickler for follicular particulars, as well as silly-sounding sentences. (As well as alliteration.)

Most intriguing/distressing of all, the tidied-up, digi-pimped Trek will also feature a rerecorded version of that famous musical theme. Apparently, a new singer will be doing the famous wail. Please, please let this not be that “new singer.”

addCredit(“Star Trek: Kobal Collection”)

Episode Recaps

Star Trek

  • Movie
  • PG-13
  • 127 minutes
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