By Amy Ryan
Updated August 16, 2006 at 12:00 PM EDT
Credit: Taylor Hicks: Jean Baptiste Lacroix/; Justin Timberlake: George Chin/

Sorry to be so late on this tip, but I’m just not cool enough to read Fashion Rocks, the Vanity Fair supplement in which Justin Timberlake, apropos of nothing in particular, dumps haterade all over Taylor Hicks. First, he implies that American Idol isn’t exactly a reliable talent farm. ”I have a strange relationship with that show. I despise it, and yet I’m completely fascinated,” says the former All New Mickey Mouse Club Mousketeer. He continues, ”People think he looks so normal, and he’s so sweet, and he’s so earnest, but he can’t carry a tune in a bucket.” Of Hicks’ instant fame, JT says, ”Do you realize how much pressure it is to put on somebody all of a sudden? If he has any skeletons whatsoever — if, God forbid, he’s gay, and all these people in Mississippi who voted for him are like, ‘Oh my God, I voted for a queer!”’ (”Not that there’s anything wrong with that,” Lance Bass’ former bandmate failed to add.)

Yikes. Timberlake had better watch out for the millions of Soul Patrolers who’ll be waiting to ambush him, pelting him with old Sam Cooke 45s and jars of Metamucil. No word on what Hicks thinks of Timberlake, though if he’s willing, PopWatch will broker a truce between the two singers: if Justin will refrain from criticizing Taylor (at least until after he releases an album), Taylor will return the favor and agree not to rip off Janet Jackson’s top and cause a scandal that costs the networks millions in increased fines.

addCredit(“Taylor Hicks: Jean Baptiste Lacroix/; Justin Timberlake: George Chin/”)