By Scott Brown
Updated August 09, 2006 at 12:00 PM EDT

A good Mel Gibson skewering, it turns out, is an investment in the future. South Park will run its once-again-relevant takedown “The Passion of the Jew” tonight. So stop watching it on YouTube and go program your TiVo.

Satirists, take note: Some jibes spring eternal; some may even merit syndication. Want to send your kids to college someday? Then pick a Closet Crazy who’s just waiting to ripen into full-blown Nutter-Butter. Ah, but how do you know who’s going to flip the old wig? Well, history tells us that almost all celebrities go crazy at some point in their career; but nobody, nobody delivers the wackadoo like former child stars. (Science still hasn’t taught us why that is.) So instead of attacking child-like adults, go after actual children — they’ll be screwing up for years to come. Voila! Your program grid runneth over, even as your soul burns in hell.

Trapped in the Closet” and “The Passion of the Jew” have already proven to be Park perennials. What other celebrity lacerations will always be in bloom? Can I get a Ben Affleck, anyone?