By Scott Brown
Updated August 03, 2006 at 12:00 PM EDT
Credit: Helena Bonham Carter: Chris Jackson/Getty Images

Helena Bonham Carter, like all British thesps, is fulfilling her patriotic duty and making the long march to Hogwarts. In Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, she will play Sirius Black’s goth cousin, the evil Death Eater Bellatrix Lestrange. (Don’t you sometimes get the feeling J.K. Rowling’s just, I dunno, making these names up?)

Also, in case you haven’t heard, Stephen King and John Irving have been cast in Harry Potter and the Dumb Debate, the prequel to Harry Potter and the Let Me Die! It’s a Schiavo-like tale of two mega-authors renowned for cruelly killing off beloved characters for dramatic effect, ganging up on a third mega-author who clearly wants to do the same. Will the Boy Who Lived be downgraded to the Boy Who Made It Through Puberty, Just? And when will Gore Vidal weigh in?

In the meantime, check out Carter next week (Aug. 11) as a dour bridesmaid who hooks up with Aaron Eckhart in Conversations With Other Women.

addCredit(“Helena Bonham Carter: Chris Jackson/Getty Images”)