By Scott Brown
Updated August 02, 2006 at 12:00 PM EDT

Living reflection… of a dream!
I was a Lost nerd!
You were my queen!
I’ll put you in my online… magazine!”

–“Figurine,” by Weird Al Zeppelin, my Weird Al/Led Zeppelin tribute band

Yes, there are Lost figurines. Yes, one of them is Dead Shannon, for whom there was apparently more demand than Sawyer, Sayid, Claire (with retractable “action womb”), or any of the other Losties who didn’t make the action-figure cut. Oh, and yes, there is a playset, for the creepily childlike 46-year-old in all of us. They even talk! And come with little trinkets (e.g., a lottery ticket for Hurley, pictured with real-life inspiration Jorge Garcia).

Now you don’t have to wait till Wednesday nights to be mystified, mildly confused, and occasionally enraged: You can do it yourself, in the privacy of your bedroom. (Which is probably what you were doing in there anyway.)

Who’s hot for these things, Losties? Seriously, speak up. I’m curious. Do you play with them? Do you simply “collect”? Do you try out alternate plotlines and send them to Cuse/Lindelof HQ? I’m a certified nerd, I’ve all my shots, but I’ll admit it: I… do… not… GET.. the figurine thing. I know, I know: I’m such an Arzt. As such, I welcome your detonations below.

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