July 27, 2006 at 12:00 PM EDT

I’m not going to attempt to discuss last night’s America’s Got Talent in a coherent narrative thread, and not just because I can already taste the weekend. (I’m headin’ to Texas for a wedding tomorrow morning — yee-haw!) Nope, the show is so screamingly, bizarrely random, it deserves a recap that’s just as stream-of-conscious. So without further ado…

-According to Reege, NBC is bringin’ sexy back AGT back in January. But, c’mon, isn’t this the perfect example of a strictly summer series? In other words, would you watch it if it were up against new episodes of Top Model or Battlestar or Ugly Betty? Yeah, me neither.

-If I had my druthers, I’d ignore the nasty spill by a member of Trey Knight’s Stilt World and send ’em to the finals (c’mon, they’re good!), but I’ve got a feeling pint-sized belter Bianca Ryan’s getting the audience vote.

-Okay, am I the only one who thinks NBC fills the audience with aspiring child actors to lamely ”gasp” and ”ooh” during the not-very-gasp-worthy acts? And on that same note, did anyone else notice that random child in the crowd wearing a tiara?

-She’s a charming interview, but how many people think Rappin’ Granny is a $1 million act? (And by that, I mean, could you actually fathom dropping $15 for her debut disc?)

-Finally, I leave you with the top three observations from my husband, who was pretending to read a Spider-Man comic book from 8-10 last night, but was clearly so frickin’ hooked on the whole AGT spectacle:

3. Responding to Regis’ revelation that teenage-looking Acrodunk member Jerry is actually 42: “Based on that talent alone, he should advance to the next round.”

2. Regarding Bianca Taylor’s raucous ”Piece of My Heart”: “She’s got a rough edge, that kid. The green hair band screams punk rocker.”

1. And finally, on first glimpse of frat-rockers Ten 13 Concept: “What are they gonna do, swill beer?”

Any more snark from his side of the couch, and he’s writing next week’s recap. I kid you not.

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