The 10 hottest topics of the week of July 28, 2006
1 Usher coming to Broadway This is his confession: Usher wants to tear your ticket. With his abs.
2 Paris Hilton says she is giving up sex for a year Although there are some indications that sex, utterly exhausted, is giving up on Paris.
3 Pete Doherty to have anti-opiate implant In a highly experimental procedure, a small, stern Mormon will be sutured inside the troubled rocker’s abdomen.
4 Supermodel Naomi Campbell supersued. Again. Golly. You’d think she was made of Vioxx.
5 Project Runway model reportedly hit by bus This marks the first and quite possibly the last crossover episode with Project Runaway Bus.
6 Mr. T says he shed his gold after witnessing Katrina flooding Gold does not float, notes the ever-cautious T. (He will keep his dorsal Mohawk.)
7 Shakespeare sells book for $5 million Good for him, but we all know this pretty much guarantees his next book will suck.
8 Brad Pitt says even he is sick of himself He plans to reinvent himself as Madonna.
9 Matthew McConaughey auctions off ’71 Corvette for charity Sweetening the deal, he neglects to clean out the ashtray.
10 Oprah not gay She’s just big-boned.