The 10 hottest topics of the week of July 28, 2006

By Scott Brown
July 21, 2006 at 04:00 AM EDT

1 Usher coming to Broadway This is his confession: Usher wants to tear your ticket. With his abs.

2 Paris Hilton says she is giving up sex for a year Although there are some indications that sex, utterly exhausted, is giving up on Paris.

3 Pete Doherty to have anti-opiate implant In a highly experimental procedure, a small, stern Mormon will be sutured inside the troubled rocker’s abdomen.

4 Supermodel Naomi Campbell supersued. Again. Golly. You’d think she was made of Vioxx.

5 Project Runway model reportedly hit by bus This marks the first and quite possibly the last crossover episode with Project Runaway Bus.

6 Mr. T says he shed his gold after witnessing Katrina flooding Gold does not float, notes the ever-cautious T. (He will keep his dorsal Mohawk.)

7 Shakespeare sells book for $5 million Good for him, but we all know this pretty much guarantees his next book will suck.

8 Brad Pitt says even he is sick of himself He plans to reinvent himself as Madonna.

9 Matthew McConaughey auctions off ’71 Corvette for charity Sweetening the deal, he neglects to clean out the ashtray.

10 Oprah not gay She’s just big-boned.