By Scott Brown
Updated July 05, 2006 at 12:00 PM EDT

Thor, Thor, Thor! How do you like it? How do you like it?

The rumor that David Goyer (Batman Begins, Blade: Trinity) is scripting a movie based on Marvel’s Thor is just that, a rumor. But that won’t stop us from looking a gift Norse in the mouth and casting the hell out of this as-yet-theoretical feature.

Who to play a god turned man turned part-time god? Well, it ought to be someone divinely appurtenanced in physique, yet battle-hardened. He should be comfortable wielding thunder, lightning, and Mjollnir, the mighty hammer of the gods.

That narrows us down to a precious few candidates: Triple H, Djimon Honsou in a blonde wig, and, of course, Thor himself, who, according to his tour schedule, will be in Hollywood on July 31 — just in time to audition.

Now I know some of you are going to nominate Brad Pitt. All due respect, we’ve seen him play god (or demigod). It’s a little too easy. Plus, Thor ought to be a little dented, a little dinged-up, I think. He ought to have a little of what his official site calls “Devastation of Musculation.” Don’t try to comprehend the meaning: It’s Norse, man. It’s beyond mortals like us.

In all seriousness, this could go really, really badly, right? Given the potential for goofiness here, how would you proceed? Who would you cast? And most important, how big would you make his hammer? (As I understand it, the myths — as opposed to the comic — have the hammer about the size of a gavel or smaller. Something tells me neither Marvel nor Hollywood is not going to settle for that.)

Cast away, armchair execs. And happy Thorth of Thorly!