Credit: Jean-Claude Van Damme: Jesse Grant/

With Spiderfans still panting from last weekend’s arachno-rockin’ Spider-Man 3 teaser, another <a href=”
“>morsel surfaces, this one decidedly SPOILER-LIKE. (Don’t click the word “morsel” unless you’re prepared to have a plot point revealed.) The accompanying commentary muses that this seemingly <a href=”
“>mythology-shaking story point may in fact be a dream sequence.

What’s not a dream sequence? Apparently, the participation of one Jean-Claude Van Damme (pictured) in the shadowy Manhattan Project known as Rush Hour III. Rumor has it, he’ll play the villain. Which means he’ll fight Jackie Chan — hopefully in the guise of a high-kicking Hasid, a la The Order (a movie that, sadly, forever fused klezmer and Van Damme in my mind.)

Van Damme vs. Chan — damn! Neither’s in his prime, and Van Damme may not even be in his original body. But he’d make a fine Rush Hour villain, methinks, especially one named “Bruno Cavalier,” which may be the most glorious movie name since Karl Hungus.

Goldurnit, Ratner! You got me again. I’m kind of looking forward to this now. Not quite as much as I’m looking forward to this, but close.

addCredit(“Jean-Claude Van Damme: Jesse Grant/”)

Spider-Man 3
  • Movie
  • 139 minutes