By Scott Brown
June 29, 2006 at 07:55 PM EDT

Attention, cult of Donnie Darko: There is another. Critically reviled it may be, 160 minutes long it certainly is, unwatchable it has been pronounced, but Southland Tales, against all laws of nature, will be coming to a theater near you. (Here endeth the Yodaspeak, to our mutual relief.)

Sony has picked up Darko director Richard Kelly‘s follow-up, a postapocalyptic, quasi-musical, pseudophiloso-fest starring The Rock and Sarah Michelle Gellar (pictured).

But you won’t see the Cannes version that got critics braying — the ones who didn’t walk out after the first 20 minutes, that is. Producers are now saying Kelly submitted an unfinished version to Cannes, and had every intention of editing it after the fact. I’d snort something to the tune of, “Yeah, right — some way to sell a film.” Except, uh, Kelly actually sold it.

Of course, it helps to have a built-in cult following that will, if nothing else, guarantee DVD immortality. Does Kelly really have a cult? Ask yourself this: Who else already has a fan-made trailer for a graphic novel prequel to a reportedly incomprehensible movie that hasn’t even been released yet?

Me, I’ll be watching it on a double-bill with Shortbus. Afterwards, I will be so iconoclastic, icons won’t dare come within three feet of my bad, bad strenu-indie self.